This isn't good news for you.
Love can be pretty blind.
You're in a new relationship,
you've got butterflies in your stomach and you spend every waking
minute thinking about that special someone. You want to be around them
all the time, and maybe you're guilty of ditching your friends and
family to hibernate at home and Netflix and chill with your new boo.
Everything in your mind is perfect.
After all, it's pretty normal to be a tad obsessive during the start of a new relationship,
but sometimes when the desire to spend every moment together turns into
actually spending every moment together - something way sinister might
be at play.
When your relationship starts moving at warp speed and
not too long after that initial first date your new s/o is practically
all moved in, beware. This is such a common occurrence, that there's a
label for those who manipulate themselves into your life and space.
The term hobosexual was coined by writer Nakita Nicci,
and she describes a hobosexual as a person "who dates you with the sole
interest of having a place to stay – not a genuine romantic interest.”
These people are serial daters and jump from home to home, just
as quickly as they jump from relationship to relationship. This person
will eat all your food, borrow money, have you always foot the bill, be
emotionally manipulative - all while hanging out on your oh so comfy
couch.
If and when you get frustrated with the emotional and financial abuse, this person finds themselves a similar set up with new partner.
If you don't believe that this happens, the LA Times just released a podcast called Dirty John,
which follows the story of Debra Newell, a successful interior designer
who falls for John Meehan – the ultimate hobosexual – a handsome man
who seems to check all the boxes: attentive, available and successful;
only to have him slither his way into her heart and home, with deadly
results.
Delays, bad weather, and baggage fees? @realdirtyjohn can help you pass the time. All episodes are streaming on @ApplePodcasts. http://apple.co/2xmrOaN— Dirty John (@realdirtyjohn)
Now if you're starting to feel uneasy,
and that some of the above mentioned information is hitting close to
home, here are 7 signs that your bae is actually a hobosexual, using you
for your living space.
1. Your relationship moves at warp speed
You've only gone out for coffee twice and maybe dinner once but
this person is already pushing for more. Maybe they want to spend the
night, become official right away, and get serious way before you've
both even gotten a chance to really get to know one another. It could be
a magic fit or something else - so stopping to take a minute and figure
it out shouldn't bother your new boo. If it does this could be a major
red flag.
2. They have a key, drawer and are leaving personal items around your home - but you've never actually invited them to live with you.
Somehow, without
your conscious permission or a discussion this person has found
themselves in your space and has slowly moved all their personal
belongings there.
3. They've been down on their luck or in between jobs for forever.
They're in between jobs,
thinking of going back to school, just taking a minute to 'figure it
out'. Maybe before you, they were crashing at a friend's and before that
it's a little hazy.
Which is all totally fine
except it's been three months and this person hasn't actually done
anything to improve their situation. They haven't printed resumes, they
aren't going to interviews and they aren't looking for a place of their
own.
4. They've never been single.
When asking about their dating history,
if they seem to have been in a string of relationships in a short
amount of time, this could be a major red flag. It's totally normal to
date around but if something sounds or feels fishy, take note.
5. They have somehow forced you to make lifestyle changes that in no way benefit you.
You're expanding your home or purging things you love
to create more space for them. You're turning your guest room into
their office and you're shelling out for pet food and kids toys but you
don't personally have a cat or a child in your life. You've changed
your lifestyle to fit them into it and they haven't done the same for
you.
6. Everything just seems to good to be true
This person likes everything you like, believes everything you believe, hates everything you hate, and never disagrees with you. You're thinking that you're both just so “іn sync”, but ѕtор and take a step back.
If this person is the real deal
taking a minute to stop and think іѕn’t gоіng to fаzе them. If this
person is tоxіс, they'll likely move оn and find someone who is more
ассерtіng/ gullіblе оr try to rееѕtаblіѕh the relationship bу рlауіng on
your еmоtіоnѕ and insecurities.
7. You've caught them telling you white lies
Yоu catch them telling lies or making contradictory statements. This
doesn't just apply to you but also to other people they converse with.
Fibbing, еxаggеrаtіng асhіеvеmеntѕ, оr contradicting themselves are a
good sign that you should ѕtор аnd ѕtер back.
Shaky credibility and dishonestly isn't a great foundation for a relationship anyways.
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